The Agenda is Gone

My name is Brie. i am a transgender female who takes part in this Illicit project with my DURC family/new friends. when i started this project first thoughts were:  can i do this? maybe? however i knew i was with Peers i have become friends with. so the nerves settled down – meeting the new faces was easy (i am a social butterfly) – i love meeting people.

over time addiction took over. as i say, “Shit happens”. i then fought about not going on the march 5 workshop. a friend gave me advice, i thought more about it, it was 11 am. i said i will go. i am glad i went – it was hard to focus at first and i felt my head was not in the right state of mind to be there. then the facilitator described a way energy can ground you. it was cool how when we connected fingers and let the energy take over what it did. then when we did a tableau about dope. the first thought was “just jump in” then i thought some more and it happened – my heart was 100 percent into the group.

at the end of the group we saw the [shadow] play a few members put together. it was touching, heart filled, and for me it hit home. now it is time to think and maybe think again.

a quote from the group that may stick in my head: “THE AGENDA IS GONE”. to me this means that i can’t have a plan in front of me i am learning how to just let things go and watch where i am walking because one day if i keep the “agenda” i will miss all the other options that are out there.

– published on behalf of Brie Leader. photo credit Dayna Szyndrowski

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